Creativity, . . or the lack thereof

Creativity is a curious thing.
I've always thought of myself as creative. Others have noted that I am crafty, or clever. I agree with both of those assemments. But ( at least ) for me, creativity as of late is a fickle thing. Either its always been as such, or now that I'm in my late 30's I am more aware of such things and am simply more in my head, as it were. In any event, I am at a bit of a lose sometimes as how to be creative. **tangent warning** App 6 yr_s ago, I met a special someone who changed my life in every way, a person can be changed. She opened up the flood gates for my imagination, creativity, compassion, love, my very soul ( either in the spiritual sense or poetic) this lovely creature made me "me" and or allowed me to become better, more than I could've become by myself or as I would've been given my current situation at that time
( another story for another blog entry ) but this"woman" was, is and always will be my greatest source of inspiration. There's a saying "necessity is the mother of invention" the core sentiment of this expression/saying/idiom is a very true one. Simply put, given the correct circumstances certain individuals will rise to the occasion and achieve greatness. Greatness may be too strong a adjective, ... But if looked at comparatively, it's apropos. I may have gotten a wee bit off topic, ... Sorry folks ( and by folks I mean anybody who is nice enough to follow my narcissistic little E -Shrine)
Creativity, .... I am with out a Muse..... This troubles me somewhat... Because the only TRUE Muse that I've ever known is not in close enough proximity to me to continue to act as such. I do occasionally see "this woman" and this does poorly, temporarily recharge my creative batteries..... But it's not enough. I am like a plant, ... Denied of its necessary, sunlight, ... Tangible sunlight.
**I am aware that only a few extremely kind individuals read this blog ( narcissistic little E-Shrine) and "The Woman" isn't one of them.*"
I miss my inspiration.... I miss her. It's a constant, day to day struggle with out her in my day to day. But I struggle, I press on, in part for her. I love her, ... I always will